you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
