I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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