people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
