addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
