I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Randomize
