yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
