Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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