ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
