yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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