Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
