All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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