absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
