I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
