even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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