you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
