farters have to be the big spoon...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
