he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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