Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
