so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
