If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
This is my life. Enjoy the view
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
