are you so shy because you have an std?
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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