the new term for farting is butt boxing.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i was born a porn star she said
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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