Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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