he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
