Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
