I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
