Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
