I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
