you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I need a burrito and a hug.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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