Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
