Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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