i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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