im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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