In the future we'll all be gay
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I need to wash the frat house off of me
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
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