I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize