peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
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