So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
