Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize