Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
