Tell her she can't have a vagina
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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