Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Randomize
