My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
