I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
