you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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