I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
