just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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