Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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