The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
