Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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