I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
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