i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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