Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
