She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize
