Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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