i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize