Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
