You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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