There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
