I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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