i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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