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I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
false alarm. still invincible.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
