I hate all girls vehemently.
Duck Duck Cougar?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Randomize
