you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
