Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
My liver just broke up with me...
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
It's official drugs can't kill me
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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