Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
You dont lie about slip and slides
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
