i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
