Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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