Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
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