scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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