I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
