yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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