no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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