Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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