I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
