I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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