I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Of course I have a pirate flag
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize