I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
