i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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