Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
