So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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