I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize