why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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