I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I wish i was in the wii world.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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